I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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