you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
