You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
