Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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