This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
