Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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