that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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