WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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