Someone shit on the floor
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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