Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
