I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
