Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
