ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
