They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
