the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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