Whod you bang
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
