Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
