If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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