grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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