I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
