Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
