Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize