and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
