Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
