i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
