I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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