I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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