I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
