Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
