brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
