Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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