too bad you live with your parents still
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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