yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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