One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
