he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
