Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
