Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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