i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
