I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
