'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
