Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
