His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
