Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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