every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
