he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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