I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This is my gift to your gina
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
