Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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