I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
