pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize