triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
