Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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