i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
