Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
