Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
