mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
