Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
