Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
