My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
